The reason that parents fail to discipline their children

Disciplining young children is an important starting point in shaping habits, which should continue doing until their school age and then being adults. Discipline involves understanding the cause and effect, duty awareness and taking action by yourself. Children who are disciplined will grow into responsible adults for themselves, people around and society. But what we often hear is 'Children today must be inculcated. No discipline at all. 'Why is that! Today we will look back at the Family Institute which is the first point in discipline for young children. The reasons that many parents failed to discipline their children are as follows.

1. Often think that children can't do it:
Adults tend to look at discipline as a framework or rule that should be followed. Therefore, they think that discipline for young children is difficult because it appears to be completely opposed to children’s nature. Many homes, therefore, give up or wait to be the duty of the school. But if we re-understand it, we will find that the discipline we are building for children is not external discipline or compliance. It is a self-discipline that results from knowing the reason and knowingly choosing to act discriminately. Therefore, adults must first believe that young children can learn about discipline when they receive training in a way that is suitable for their age.

2. Not behave as an example:
Many parents are wary as children do not obey or follow their instructions. As such, we need to look at ourselves whether we are good examples for our children, such as not being on the telephone during dining time, responsible for the chores assigned or being on time. It’s right that each person in the home may have different responsibilities but adults must be good examples of being responsible for their own duties. Children can also be responsible for their duties but if adults don't behave as a good sample, the instructions will be just unreliable words and the child will not want to follow.

3. Never set goals or give reasons: Many children do not know why they need to follow adults’ instructions. This may be the reason why some children do not continue following parent’s instructions and some stop doing it. If they know why they should do and how it is good for them and others, they will do it meaningfully. For example, the discipline of saving money - children may think that the daily cost of snacks is their right, so they will use it all up, that's fine. If children know that saving is the goal of creating a starting point for money management, it would be good. But by saying this, children probably don't understand. Adults can do it with children and point them to benefits, for example, we drop a piggy bank in every day, we will have money to spend for many things, such as buying snacks to be shared with friends, buying a robot. That makes them be proud of buying things by themselves. And if saving consistently, it can be a fund or spend on unexpected things that may arise in the future as well. When children begin to experience and understand, they will see the benefits and continue.

4. Being too sympathetic and afraid of not being beloved:
Many parents are weak, cannot bear to see the child is reluctant. Parents should bear in mind that once the discipline brings children success, they will think of you and be very grateful. But how to do as not to be boring teaching? Try asking questions like "How do you feel towards what you have tried like this?  They may answer whether good or bad, we have to accept the feeling that they first told and appreciate their effort and then gradually explain the reasons, such as the offensive children who returned home and must do homework before playing. First of all, we have to know and accept the feelings of the children, such as "Mum knows that you want to play, but during the last three days, you could take a shower first and do your homework ... See? You could do it. Once you finish your homework, you don't have to worry about having a lot of time to play or do other things ... Mom doesn't have to complain of you, that’s why Mom wants you to keep going. "Don't forget that your praise is encouraging and confirms that your actions are correct.

5) Expect immediate results: Discipline for children must be gradual. Many parents are reluctant to see results in the near future and may end up with punishing, which worsens the situation in the home. We must understand that "Discipline is an integration of life." In simple words, discipline is not a special activity or skill that separates practice from daily life. But discipline can arise from daily use. With parents telling the right to be an example or do with children, such as wake up, must keep pillows, fold blankets Instead of telling the children to keep the bed too. Let's start at ... before the child gets out of bed, let’s help each other hold the blanket at different angles and fold it down. "Hold the pillow and place it for the mother there." Use gentle request words in which children want to listen and would definitely like to do more than when being ordered.

Lastly, the author would like to encourage all parents to jointly discipline their children since they are young so that they will grow to be adults who know their duties, be responsible and good population in our society.

By T.Akkarat