How to deal with an overly jealous boyfriend?
By: Napaporn Trivitvareekul
Q: I have a love life that is ruled by someone else which is my boyfriend and it is very uncomfortable. I have been in this relationship for 3 years. My boyfriend is older than me and already work but I am still a student. This makes him often say that I am just a girl and I know nothing, and I do not know why he is so worried about me. But from my Point of view, I think he is too jealous and emotional. He does not allow me to share, post or chat with any men via line, Instagram or Facebook. I have to take a video while taking public motorcycle because of he afraid that drivers may flirt or talk to me. Also, at the university entrance and in the classroom that I have to take a video because he thinks that some men will take a seat near me or talk to me. He always video call me while I am in the class and see who I am sitting next to. Is it a man or not? I am not allowed to hang out with friends. He said that he has to go with me otherwise I am not allowed to go. Sometimes when we have a fight, he scolds me and says that I should die. He said that he is stress from his work, and I should not act so annoying. I am too uncomfortable, but I am afraid that I could not live. without him. What should I do?
A : Your parents love you more than he does. Why does he need to be unnaturally jealous? Have any mom and dad ever told their kids to stay away from friends or stay alone because they love them so much? It is worse than their kids are social unwanted. Loving someone means let him/she happy the way he/she is. It does not make you feel as you are in jail. Feeling warm but not too stress with a little jealous but not that much is better. Too jealous makes you feel down because he thinks that you want every nearby man. He should give you some privacy or is there any inferiority complex that made her feel insecure and think that his girlfriend will leave him all the time. However, if he is afraid of losing you, then he should take better care of you instead of telling you to die. How cute you are that I should be honest?
If you “want to be loved” then you need “to give love” not a hundred calls. This is not cute but annoying and the more someone gets closer, the more they cannot breathe. Do not think that to love someone is like putting them in the cabinet or locked inside and think that they will not go anywhere. You cannot control anyone even though they are staying with you, but their hearts can fly anywhere if they are not happy.
No matter how old you are, you want to be happy, not sad because of feeling uncomfortable. Everyone has their own life and own breath. Just be happy with each other, not staying with me and do not meet anyone else attitude. We have many components in life and lover is a part of them. It is not a whole world and the world does not end when he/she leaves.
As he said that he loves you that much, has he ever met your parents? Or listen to them how they want their daughter to be treated? What is your happiness? Has he ever known? Now you are in a relationship with him and always spoil him, when will he care about you?
No matter who you love, we all have these 3 worlds which are your internal world, our two-of-us world, and other people's world. These 3 worlds orbit around each other and should not force to stay only in our two-of-us world. Relationships are like sand held in your hand. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers.
Talk to yourself first that no matter how much you love him; you cannot die because of him. Also, you can stay alive without him. Remember that he did not give birth to you or even your parents pass away, but your heart needs to continue beating. You have to live the same way before he was here. And the most important thing is if it is hard to live close to him, then it may be better to leave and be happier.
If you both can be open-minded and talk, then let’s ask him “Don’t you have confidence in yourself or in me? I have been in this relationship for 3 years. I would not be here if I have not loved you. Do not tell me that I am a harlot that I am an easy-going person with any men, and I have not been scolded by anyone, even my mom and dad.”
Loving each other does not hurt anyone both physically and mentally. If he cannot give you what you ask for, then you have to believe in yourself. You are the heart of your mom and dad. Do not let anyone hurt you because your parents’ heart will be so hurtful. We have many factors in life, the lover is a part of them, and the world will not end even though he leaves.